I talk a lot in my coaching practice about The Critic or as we call it in the Heroine’s Journey, the Threshold Guardians. They are the voices in your head that stop you from doing things; from following your dream; from meeting your big goals. You want to step over a new threshold; make a change; try something new and they warn you; demean you; demoralize you. Stop you. 

My Threshold Guardians

Yeah, those voices. You know the ones. 

I’ve invited them to help me write this blog. I know, yes, I am nuts. It’s because they’ve been texting me. Apparently, they want their chance to talk. I believe it’s only fair to give them some airtime. Maybe we’ll all learn something. So, there are my guest bloggers for this post. Yep. My Threshold Guardians. 

Let’s see how it goes. (Talk about making yourself vulnerable – the TGs hate that!) OK, direct from inside my head…

It's My Threshold Guardians Time To Shine!

TG: Susanna! You have us all wrong! We are here to help and we HAVE helped you, guided you, assisted you since you were little! A LOT! Right? Remember? We told you you’d fall off your bike if you weren’t careful! We told you to wear your shoes outside so you wouldn’t step on a bee. Hurt, didn’t it? Yeah, you cried, remember?

But now, now that you’re OLD, we don’t even know where to begin! You’re doing this work now when you’re in your sixties? What? Are you crazy? You’re so old!! 

You can’t possibly be doing self-development and empowerment coaching with women who are younger than you. You’re not pretty enough. You’re not smart enough. You don’t know enough about technology. You’re not good at speaking – or writing. How are you going to have good content?  And it’s all about content these days.

Do you even know what content is?  Do you know what your competition looks like? They are young and pretty and know how to use technology. You should never have stopped consulting. How are you even making money right now? You’re going to run out of money. You’ll have nothing left. This whole thing about the Heroine’s Journey? Who cares? Who’s going to listen to you? Why should they listen to you? You should quit. You should retire. Aren’t you tired? Why don’t you go lie down? 

OK, can we just sum it up…what’s wrong with you, Susanna…who do you think you are?

Susanna: Ugh. Wow, TG (Threshold Guardians), please tell me how this helps me.

TG: Susanna! We are saving you from making a fool of yourself, from making mistakes. People will laugh at you. No one else in their sixties is putting themselves out there this way. Well, we don’t know anybody. They’re staying home, doing the things that grandmothers’ do. Can you golf? Knit? Quilt? No?!? Well, go visit your grandchildren. Travel. Cook. Don’t embarrass us by becoming more visible, by trying to do this work with others who are so much younger – and smarter – and prettier. You’re going to do something stupid, fall flat on your face. Don’t expect us to pick up the pieces because WE WARNED YOU!!

How Do They Affect You?

(Dear Readers, I do think they’re well-meaning. I do think they want to keep me safe – sort of…but they also don’t want me to reflect badly on, well, who they think I am – and on the tribe. You know, the tribe of how women in their sixties are supposed to act. They want me to stay small, within the “norm”, within certain accepted limits and not make any errors. Does this sound at all like your Threshold Guardians? It’s hard to listen to, isn’t it? Geez. But there’s something I know and that helps me put them in context…)

I was expecting you’d say all this, TG. I know about you. I'll accept that you’re some part of me.  I know you show up when I’m about to do, or am doing, something outside of my comfort zone. That makes it exciting because your presence, your warnings, means I’m stretching myself and when I do that I grow. I evolve! I'm doing something outside of my comfort zone – building my platform, growing my business – online – yes, in my sixties! I want to keep growing and learning. I’m not done yet!

Hey, I’ve done this before and you’ve shown up before. I’ve done something new, and I’ve made mistakes before and gotten up and kept going and learned from those mistakes.

The Heroine's Journey

I know about you because I know about the Heroine’s Journey and so I’ve been expecting you. I know you’re not real. And, I know you’re the automatic voices that I picked up in childhood (mostly you mimic my parents’ voices) and that you don’t know what you’re talking about. Hey, I grew up! You’re just old tapes, replaying and replaying.

You’ve got some connection to my survivor brain which was structured to warn us about the Sabre-toothed tiger on the savanna, about DANGER. “Get back in your cave!” But, you never got the memo, apparently, TGs, I’m not on the savanna anymore. Those tigers are history. I don’t need your warnings.

But I get it – you’re part of my physiology so you just can’t help yourself. Fine. I can deal with you. If I know why you’re with me; if I know that you say the same things in everyone’s head, then it helps to neutralize you. 

But, I’m really not listening anymore, TG.

Listen To Yourself

I’m prioritizing another voice, the voice of my Sage, my wise inner voice. This voice does know. This voice is connected to my Spirit, to my sacred Self. She wants me to grow and evolve. She wants me to reach my very highest potential because that’s always going to be the best for me and for those around me. Plus, she knows that everything you say is silly, not true, just echoing old warnings. 

You Can Say No

Oh, you’ll love this TG.  To me, you’re like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz. Everyone listens to her; is so afraid of her. They quake. They run from her. “Surrender Dorothy!” She wants the travelers on the yellow brick road to give up, but they don’t. As scared as they are, they persevere.

Dorothy leads the way like the true heroine she is. Each character shows they have the ability to meet the challenges the witch and the wizard give them. And ultimately what happens, TG? There is NOTHING to that witch and all her warnings. She MELTS! She is destroyed by a pail of water.

“I’m melting! I’m melting!”

TG: Susanna, you don’t know anything. That’s just a movie. You’re going to be sorry. You’re going to be sorry for writing this and letting people know what’s in your head. Susanna….

TG: Hey, get out…hey, Susanna, stop it – that’s so wet!! Oh no, we’re melting! We’re melting!