Ted Lasso and the Divine Feminine...and Masculine!

I bet you knew I’d get here eventually – The Divine Masculine. Yes, there is such a thing – of course, there is! I am still learning. As I’ve said, that’s what my pilgrimage is about…learning. Here’s my statement, again: 

If you’ve been following the winding path of my blog and videos starting this January 2023 I’ve declared that I’m on a “stay at home” pilgrimage. I’m studying and learning about the sacred feminine. I’m going to continue with this theme until either the enormity of the task does me in (quite possible) or completely overwhelms me (more than likely!) – or until it leads me to…well, who knows? (This is truly a journey into the unknown.) I’ve invited you to come along. Thank you for being here. I hope we’ll all learn something.

The Sacred Feminine led me to the Sacred Masculine.

Seriously, if you allow your intuition to guide you, you get on a path and you don’t know where it’s going to lead you!

But before we go any further – let me list a few summary-type points that I’ve gleaned thus far from my pilgrimage to learn about the sacred feminine:

  • It’s impossible to define! This is what was getting me stuck, trying to come up with one definition. We can’t represent it with one single definition. “There is no one way to describe what’s feminine, as it means vastly different things to different people of different cultures and identities…” healer and artist, Edgar Fabian Frias, as quoted in this Bustle article
  • We are talking about energy, not gender. It’s not biological – or associated with motherhood. Divine femineity and divine masculinity are beyond gender. They represent a sacred spiritual energy that we all have access to. It’s a sacred part of our consciousness. (I say all our consciousness is sacred.)
  • Masculine energy is often thought of as being active and outward-oriented. It’s thought of as logical and focused on facts. It’s a necessary part of navigating life and making decisions. It’s about courage, direction, focus, and confidence. It has us stand up for what is right and protect our boundaries.
  • Feminine energy is often thought of as receptive and inward-focused. It represents what is felt and not thought. It can connect us with our intuition. It’s related to the moon, the earth, the sea, the desert, poetry, art, and love. Care and collaboration are seen as power to the sacred feminine (power with, not power over).
  • We need both types of energies and have access to both.
  • Aromatherapist, Dori Bell, describes it this way in her blog post – I think this is a great metaphor she uses to describe the interaction of the two energies: “Another way of illustrating the roles of these two energies is the Divine Feminine is the river and the Divine Masculine is the riverbank.
  • Why are they called “sacred” and “divine?” This is how I see it. I wrote a little book back in 2009 called Circle Power: Connecting to Something Greater. Here’s what I wrote about consciousness:
    “Think of your consciousness, that indefinable part of you that is your very essence, as a circle. See it inside of you, perhaps as a circle around your heart. Or just see it in your mind’s eye, and notice that it’s lovely. It’s your consciousness. Think of it also as your connection to the Divine- to your inner knowing; to your intuition; to your spirit; to something greater.”

Consciousness, to me, is sacred as it’s our portal that connects us with the Divine. It holds these two energies – they, too, are sacred and equally so.

I first learned that the Sacred Masculine was a thing in Rebecca Campbell’s book, Rise Sister Rise. She has a chart that lists, in four quadrants, the Sacred Feminine characteristics and their unbalanced version and the Sacred Masculine characteristics and their unbalanced version. I’ve listed some of the characteristics of each of the quadrants to give you an idea:

  1. the Sacred Feminine: compassionate, wise, in touch with her ability to heal, connected with nature and her seasons, sees herself as whole, loves unconditionally, fiercely protective of the planet and her children…,
  2. the Unbalanced, Feminine: depressed, needy, codependent, overly sensitive, wallowing, self-pitying, bitter, self-doubting, victim, people-pleaser, the good girl, low self-esteem…
  3. the Sacred Masculine: strong, protective, worships the feminine, supportive, present, active, proactive, abundant, powerful, provider, confident, physical, energized, passionate, heroic…
  4. the Unbalanced, Masculine: destroys everything in his/her path, ruthless, does not think of anyone but himself, the end justifies the means, forceful, brutal, barbaric, selfish, egoistic…

As with just about anything – too much of either of these energies can be a problem. Too much masculine is associated with aggression and domination. Too much feminine shows up as stagnation and disempowerment. Our work to balance the two energies within us makes a difference in the world. Actually, one could say it makes a big difference in our world. 

The goal is a balance of the two. If we can achieve a balance of the two energies then, within and without, we’ll find harmony and greatly enhance our creativity, bringing new ideas into the world. 

How achieving balance helps our planet 

I agree with Rebecca Campbell who writes in Rise Sister Rise: “For when you express what is in your soul, or rather let what is in your soul express itself through you, you effortlessly dive into the current of life in alignment. And when you live a life in alignment, your unique presence alone contributes to the healing of the planet.” (The underlining is mine.) 

This, to me, is what the famous quote - what Martha Graham said to Agnes DeMille is about:

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”

Our job is to express ourselves and not hinder what wants to rise within us. “The world will not have it.” if we block it. Our job, the Heroine’s Journey tells us, is to take the journey then return to our “village” and share our gift. The journey develops our gift(s) and our clarity about what it is. Each returning Heroine benefits the world in this way.

Ted Lasso – how did I get here?

What does all this have to do with Ted Lasso? You probably have heard about, maybe watched the series on Apple TV. Ted is a former American football coach who comes to England to coach a soccer (British football) team, knowing nothing about the sport. I love the show. In my view, Ted embodies a sacred feminine approach to leadership. He collaborates, inspires, and is empathetic. He recognizes the worth in everyone – even Nate the Great, the locker room assistant. He excels in bringing out the best in everyone.

Other characters, like the former team owner, Rupert – and (initially) his replacement, Rebecca, are examples of the unbalanced masculine. They display the toxic and unhealthy versions of the sacred masculine – revenge, control, ego, and competition. We watch Rebecca and Nate grow and evolve as they go on their own versions of the Heroine’s and Hero’s journeys throughout the series.

Here is another representation of the two types of “energy” from Jeff Harry. (As you might imagine, there is a considerable amount of information to be found about the Sacred Masculine on the internet. An equally large rabbit hole opened up for me with this topic as it did for the feminine version.) What brought me to Jeff Harry (Positive Psychology Play Speaker) and his chart, below, was that it occurred to me that the Ted Lasso character, as created and played by Jason Sudeikis, was a great example of sacred feminine leadership.

Jeff Harry focuses on the types of leadership found in the series. He has his own chart of the two energetic principles as they compare, illustrating how we need them both. This is from his PowerPoint Why Ted Lasso’s Feminine & Masculine Leadership Matters:


The Point?

As far as this blog post goes, as far as what I’ve been able to digest so far from my exploration, it’s clear to me that we are certainly not balanced as regards these energies. So, we’re not helping our planet. Our own imbalance disrupts the balance of our home, and our Earth. For the last 4000 + years we’ve been way more tipped to the masculine side, as sacred as it may be. We have been overusing and overdoing the masculine. The product of this has caused an erosion of what’s needed to keep our planet and us healthy.

We are not a world of Ted Lassos. We lean more towards celebrating the leadership models of Rupert and whom Nate becomes in the series, someone who is ego-controlled wants control – is into competition, and sees the separation of things rather than the shared humanity that Ted sees. 

It’s a dark picture but here’s where I see the hope. I see it in you. Yes, you. You are working to allow the knowing, intuitive expression that is uniquely yours to rise. You are keeping the channel open. Each person who does this contributes to the healing of the planet – as Rebecca Campbell tells us. 

“And when you live a life in alignment, your unique presence alone contributes to the healing of the planet.” 

Keep rising, heroine. Keep rising, hero. It’s your job.

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