My Very Own Valentine’s Day Love For Myself Project
Today, on this Valentine’s Day let’s practice giving to ourselves. This is known as BEING SELFISH in some circles. (See note *) Not in this circle!!
I know. It can be hard to do. We are so very good at GIVING to others. Maybe we should start there and get it out of the way so you can then focus on YOU.
(* Note: It is absolutely, positively NOT selfish to take care of you. It’s smart! See more on this below…)
Here’s that list.
WHAT I’LL DO FOR OTHERS LIST
I have to:
- Get valentines for the kids to give at school.
- Buy valentines to give to my mom, dad, partner, kids, - my family
- Make something to celebrate Valentine’s Day, to make it special…cupcakes with hearts
- Frame a special photo to let my mom know I love her.
- Make a romantic dinner for…
- Buy flowers to give to….
Wait, you know what? You’re totally on top of this list - your WHAT I’LL DO FOR OTHERS list. You’re a giver. And if you’re not on top of it (fat chance) - just scroll through social media or go to the nearest store to check out their displays of chocolates, cards, flowers, perfume - you know, the “valentine’s stuff.”
Stores start with making every aisle pink and red the day after New Years - maybe the day after Christmas!! And if you’re late and haven’t done any of this yet - there’s still time!!!
OK, let’s get to the hard list. What are you going to do for yourself? You. Remember her?
I’m going to try to make it easy…really easy. Ideally, it would be great if you did something for yourself every day (can you even imagine it?) - but I know your schedule. You’re out straight, that’s asking a lot.
And let’s just remember why it’s beneficial to spend some time caring and doing for you? I mean, why not just expend energy on others and trust (really??!) that you’ll get it back? Hmmm… Or maybe, magically, you get replenished without having to do anything. I don’t think that happens.
Why it’s important - here’s that list: (And you know you know all this…)
Why it helps me to give to MY SELF - at least occasionally:
- I need to be nurtured, too - like a plant needs to be watered. Me, too.
- If I always put the oxygen mask on everyone else, then I won’t get enough oxygen and then I’ll be operating at a diminished capacity - not able to continue taking care of others at all!!
- My inner child, who’s still with me, needs attention - she’ll act up and make me whiny, resentful, depressed, even. She wants to be lovingly parented by me, not ignored.
- When I’m loving myself, I feel better and when I feel better then I’m nicer to everyone around me. I’m more loving. I give even more to others when I give to myself first.
There’s a lot that’s been written about this but let’s call it good and get on to your list of IDEAS FOR HOW TO SHOW MY LOVE FOR ME ON VALENTINE’S DAY.
Let’s just get all the excuses out, too, so we get them out of the way:
- Great, but I don’t have time for me.
- I can’t let others down. They expect me to do these things for them.
- I’d like to but I guess I really think focusing on me is selfish - especially when there are so many needs in the world.
- Money! I don’t have the money to spend on me.
- I don’t want to disappoint anyone.
- I need to do something to deserve it. I’m not worthy of special attention to myself.
- Mostly, there’s not enough time in the day.
I’m sure you have more. We all do. But can we just sweep those aside for today and do something for you?
It’s Time for You - Just One Hour
We’ll keep it simple…
Your goal for the day is to spend one hour - in increments or all at once on you!
OK, here it is:
Think of each of these as a mini-date with yourself.
Do as many of these as you want - as long as you spend one hour on you, today, this Valentine’s Day.
- Buy a Valentines Day card and send it to yourself! (Yes, it’s OK if it comes after Valentine’s Day. You’ll still be sending yourself love.)
- Set your timer for ten minutes and sit down all by yourself and do nothing. (You can substitute “do nothing” with color, doodle, meditate.)
- Spend at least ten minutes outside and pay attention to what you see. Notice. Really take it all in. Collect something from nature: a stone, a flower, a feather…and bring it back inside with you and put it somewhere so you’ll be reminded that you took a moment to notice.
- Pick yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers (or buy them) - or a plant and put it in a place where you’ll see it regularly. You deserve flowers as much as anyone!
- Read this poem by Nikita Gill at least 3 x during the day: You are not small. You are not unworthy. You are not insignificant. The universe wove you from a constellation, just so every atom, every fibre in you comes from a different star. Together, you are bound by stardust, altogether spectacularly created by the energy of the universe itself. And that, my darling, is the poetry of physics, the poetry of you.
- Make a list of ten things you really like about yourself.
- Put on some music, light a candle and write for ten minutes about a moment in your life when you felt the happiest.
- Make yourself one of your favorite foods (or buying it is OK, too) and eat it consciously (i.e. doing nothing else but focusing on your eating and tasting and smelling - immersed in the moment.
Do Something For Yourself
I would love to hear what you do and how it goes. Of course, you can come up with your own mini-date with yourself idea. When you start thinking about it there are so many things you can do, for yourself.
Bottom line, our world can use as much love as it can get. The more love you can give to yourself, the more love you can give out. So many will benefit. Self-love is so important.